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by silkspectred



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Endgame (2019), Blood, Body Horror, Character Death, Gore, Heavy Angst, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, No Sex, Not A Fix-It, Unhappy Ending, Violence, Wounds, i mean technically stevetony are in love but. yeah., spoilers for the super bowl spot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 01:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17674058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkspectred/pseuds/silkspectred
Summary: “‘M afraid.”He almost says,It’s okay, but these are the very last moments of Tony’s life and Steve doesn’t want to lie.





	home

**Author's Note:**

> Are you even a stevetony writer if you don’t have a fic with this title?
> 
> Anyway I wrote this in literally one hour so it’s very simple and short but I needed to get it out of my system. Spoilers for the super bowl spot of Avengers: Endgame. 
> 
> Thank you to rawan for the inspiration provided by [this amazing tweet](https://twitter.com/wrsmachine/status/1092220645650378752) and for allowing me to play with this idea. 
> 
> Thank you to tones and gem for beta.

Steve sees Tony fly past him out of the corner of his eye.

For a moment, he thinks nothing of it. Tony will get back up like he always does.

Then, a few details click inside Steve’s brain.

Time stops, and Steve’s heart stops with it.

It’s the way Tony groans that’s the giveaway. Steve can hear it from across the battlefield as if it were just next to him, as if the world wasn’t burning all around him.

He runs. He doesn’t think.

His knees hurt when he falls to the ground next to Tony, but he doesn’t notice.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. It’s alright.”

Tony tries to speak, but he can’t.

He’s been cut open in the middle.

The smell of blood fills the air around them.

Steve takes out his field first aid kit.

Gauze.

It’s soaked in seconds.

He’s trying to keep Tony’s organs from falling out of him and doing a piss poor job of it.

He can’t keep his hands steady.

_Please, please. Fuck._

“St—”

Tony reaches up with his hand. He’s trying to sit up.

“Shh, sweetheart, it’s alright. It’s alright.”

He gathers Tony up, puts an arm behind his shoulders.

Maybe he shouldn’t.

Both his legs are broken.

“‘M sor—”

“No, no, it’s alright. Help me keep pressure on the wound, here, it’s alright.”

“Was fixin’ the… Wasn’t wearin’… suit—”

“It’s not your fault, Tony. It’s gonna be alright, hey. It’s—”

Tony looks down at his body. “Sh—shit. Hurts.”

“Help is on the way. Save your strength—”

He sends an emergency call to Rhodey. He doubts he’ll make it there in time.

Goddammit. God _fucking_ dammit, God fucking damn it all.

“Cold.”

“I know. Try to resist. Just a minute.”

He pulls Tony closer.

“‘M sorry about… everything. Couldn’t say… earlier.”

“No, we were too busy hugging to talk,” he says, and Tony huffs out a laugh while blood trickles out of his lips, which is—

It’s—

The relief of discovering Tony safe after so long seems so foreign now.

He wants to hug Tony again but it’d kill him. He has to wait. He has to wait for him to be—

And then it’ll be meaningless.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I do.”

“No—”

“I’m so sorry, Tony.”

“I know—” Tony gurgles on his next words. He closes his eyes for a long terrifying moment and then opens them again. He’s trying to focus past the pain. “I… forgive… forgive… you—”

Tears. Steve is crying.

“You… forgive me?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course I forgive you.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, bends his head following the rocking motion of his back. He didn’t even know he was moving.

He takes a deep breath and pretends he’s not about to vomit from the smell of Tony’s blood.

He pushes the tears back. He can’t let Tony see him cry.

“I love you,” he says, his voice broken into a million pieces, but he has to say it again, he has to say it one last time. It’s been more than two years since the last time he said it.

“Love you too.”

Since the last time he heard it.

Tony lets out a long breath. After that, he seems calmer. He stops shaking, he loses the urgency of pain. His mind works past it. He’s lucid, clear-headed, his eyes alert and bright.

“Loved you more than I can… more than anything. Anything.”

“Me too, sweetheart. More than anything.”

“Remember… first time we kissed?”

He wants to cry again.

Instead, he smiles.

“How can I forget? After the Battle of New York. Breath still smelling like onion.”

“Sweaty and dirty—”

“We cleaned up right away, though, remember?”

“Yeah—”

“Shit, Tony—”

“Remember the last time? Before you went to Nigeria.”

“Before everything got—”

“We were together—”

A sigh, a wince.

Blood.

“—for longer than we were separated. ‘M happy. About that.”

Steve squeezes Tony’s hand. They’re not pressing on the wound anymore.

“‘M afraid.”

He almost says, _It’s okay_ , but these are the very last moments of Tony’s life and Steve doesn’t want to lie.

“I’m here. I love you. I love you so much.” He wants that to be the last thing Tony hears. To know that he’s loved. “I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

“Steve.”

Tony hooks his fingers into Steve’s collar and drags his head closer. He brushes his nose against Steve’s cheek.

Steve kisses him.

He can pinpoint the precise moment when Tony stops kissing back.

Steve carefully lays him back down onto the ground. He wishes he had something to put under his head. He doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.

But he isn’t. He won’t be. He can’t feel anything anymore.

Not even the pain.

Tears blind Steve again. This time he lets them flow. He squeezes his eyes shut and feels them falling onto his cheeks, scalding hot like mistakes, regrets, shame, punishment, happiness, love.

He lowers his head to Tony’s chest and presses his face into it. He can’t see the reactor’s light from behind his closed eyelids. He used to be able to. He used to love that.

Never getting lost in the darkness. Always something to guide him back.

Tony’s tank top dries Steve’s tears.

The earth trembles underneath them.

Thanos is approaching.

Steve can’t hear the crackle of Thor’s lightning anymore.

He stands. He picks up the shield. He slides his arm into the leather strap.

He looks at Tony’s lifeless body one last time.

 _Lifeless_. So unfair to apply that word to Tony. So counterintuitive.

Steve’s hand is wet with Tony’s blood. He can feel it beneath the glove; it seeped inside from the open fingers.

But his nails are scraped too. He hadn’t noticed.

Tony’s blood is mixed with Steve’s own. On his skin.

The last— _only_ —way they can be together.

But maybe—

Maybe he’ll get to see Tony sooner than he thinks.

Thanos. Thanos is walking towards him. There’s no time, no time to think. No time to mourn. No time to hope.

Rage boils inside him.

His hand shakes. Steve tightens the strap on the shield.

He turns to face Thanos.

He’ll make him pay. He’ll make him regret everything he’s done.

He knows what he has to do to bring him down, and he’s ready for it.

If it’s the last thing he does.

**Author's Note:**

> On [Tumblr](http://silkspectred.tumblr.com/post/182589612085/home-1k-m-steve-rogerstony-stark-mcu)
> 
> On [Twitter](https://twitter.com/silkspectred/status/1092914212140126209)


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